I was talking with a friend recently and he told me something very interesting. He said that the two most common words used in all of history, the two words written about the most throughout time are the following: love and freedom.
Wow, I thought. These are such profound longings that in all the words used since the beginning of modern humans, love and freedom are what people write about the most. So I think it’s only fitting that you and I explore what these mean in our relationships, and I think they are exactly what everyone is after.
Does Love Cost Us Some Freedom?
We all want love. Love is what drives us to find another to couple with. Love is what makes us crazy when we don’t get it. Love is what we show another when we care about them. Love therefore is the focus of most of our lives. So yes, love is a big factor in relationships.
Now let’s talk about freedom. Is this something we think about in a relationship? You bet. All of us when we couple with another person compromise some of our selves to be with the other. We make allowances for the way they do things and they might do the same for us. But how many of us give up who we are to make the other comfortable? How many of us listen to the other at the expense of our self?
How Love and Freedom Hang in Delicate Balance as We Pursue Happiness
If we are compromising who we are, we are giving up the freedom to be our self. This is very subtle, yet very important. Both of these themes, love and freedom, play a dominant role in how we feel about our selves, our partners, our lives.
When we feel loved we feel great. When we don’t feel enough love we get upset. Upsets lead to disagreements and often fights and separation. Then we have more work to do to get back to the love we all crave.
When we feel alive to be our self we feel fantastic. We feel we are fully present in our life and what brings us happiness. When we have to comply with another person’s ideas of who we should be or their wishes that we were different, we may become unhappy and we could grow resentful towards them.
How Loving and Free Do You Feel?
So maybe for all of us in relationships the question might be, are we practicing enough love and freedom? Do we love enough? Are we aware of what kind of love we provide our other? Are we keenly aware of what they don’t give to us? Think about your situation. What is occurring for you?
And when we look at freedom, are you free enough? Do you feel alive every day with what may come, or are you worried that someone might be unhappy with you? Think about how you show up in this arena.
As for myself, I’ve never looked at a relationship through the lens of these two themes, until writing this.
How Do Love and Freedom Appear In Your Relationship?
Love and Freedom: They are beautiful concepts. We hunger for them both, always. Even when we are fighting about who hasn’t washed the dishes, we can still boil down that argument down to who felt taken advantage of and therefore experienced a loss of love and freedom. We might not think in those terms, but we feel something missing from our lives when we have to argue about fairness with our partner.
Is it really as simple as understanding how love and freedom show up for us? Think about it. I am. And so have millions of others throughout time.
Get a Helping Hand in Dealing with Conflict
Listen to Linda, Pastor Trevor, and Pastor Cedric break issues just like these down on Two Wise Men and a Smart Chick, airing Fridays at 11:00AM PST.