How Mood Affects Our Relationships

How Mood Affects Our Relationships

Can you notice how when you are in a bad mood your relationship suffers? This pretty much happens to all of us. I know it happens to me, plenty. I will feel depressed, or anxious or worried about something and then I am in some kind of mood and then no one feels good around me.

I also know that if I am in such a mood, I am usually unaware that I am in a mood in that moment. After the mood passes I can look back and see how my upset feelings really impacted the way I acted. This is good to do, notice yourself after you have had an upset.


Withholding Affection in Anger

One Reason Withholding Affection Happens in Relationships

When you read the title you might say to yourself, “I don’t do that, I don’t withhold affection or love from my person.” The truth, though, is we all do it. Every one of us who is in a relationship does it. That’s because that’s how humans act when they get their feelings hurt. We don’t love our other when we are suffering. That’s a fact.

Think about it. You and your mate are having a disagreement. You feel they did something to you. They feel you did something to them. You are both mad at the other. Are you withholding love from your person then? Of course you are. We ALL do this.


Emotional Distance in Relationships & How Pain Separates Us

Emotional Distance in Relationships & How Pain Separates Us

We all get wounded by the people we love. This is part of being human. The hard part though, when we are in a relationship, is putting the pain between you and your partner.
And we do this almost instinctively. We get our feelings hurt and boom the wall comes up or we tell them incredibly strongly how much they hurt us.

This pattern is pervasive with couples. I see it in my therapy practice. I live it in my own life. When I am hurt I am unable to ask for what I need. My instincts are to fight. I don’t raise my fists or anything, but my insides look for someone to blame. I usually become angry on the inside after I feel hurt and I express it, sometimes loudly.


Why Misunderstandings Make Us Mad

Why Misunderstandings Make Us Mad

There are lots of reasons to get mad at the people we love. It just seems to happen, sometimes right out of the blue. We don’t plan on getting angry, but as we all know, anger can just come out of nowhere and when it does—well, watch out. Anger is not very pretty.

I know I have been working on decreasing my anger for a long time. It’s not that anger is bad. It’s just that when we say harsh things, yell, or swear at someone we love… Well, there could be a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of damage. I just got tired of cleaning up the mess I made when I got angry.


Relationships Are Hard, But Yours Doesn't Have to Be

Relationships Are Hard, But Yours Doesn’t Have to Be

It’s funny to think of not being good at “living” life. All of us, as humans, pride ourselves at being effective. Every one of us does things to the best of our ability. And yet, many relationships are not satisfying to the people in them. And many people wonder why being in a relationship is so hard.

Well, there are good reasons for relationship challenges. For starters, where did you learn how to be in a relationship? Maybe you saw some movies or watched other people. Maybe you saw examples of what not to do and vowed to do something different. Or perhaps you had examples that you thought were good but they are not proving to work in your current relationship.


How to Deal with Misunderstandings in Relationships

How to Deal with Misunderstandings in Relationships

Misunderstandings in relationships are incredibly common. You both love each other and want the best for each other. Even still, you may sometimes bump into communication gaps, misjudge each other’s intent, or just accidentally stumble into a loved one’s trigger. This article explores why it happens and what to do about it. A Case Study […]


Dealing with Conflict and Pain in Relationships

Dealing with Conflict and Pain in Relationships

Dealing with conflict in relationships isn’t something many of us were born knowing how to do. Some of us, however, may have had parents who set a good example for us and taught us some of those skills. But for the rest of us, we need to learn how to understand the pain we cause […]